Forgotten Animals is a workplace comedy about a group of misfit women who come together to help some of the least popular animals on earth.
In this pilot episode, the women decide to throw a luncheon for 20 homeless raccoons, all while being audited by Sue, a representative of corporate who could cut their funding. Meanwhile, Karen’s yogurt has been taken from the office fridge and she will stop at nothing to find the culprit.
While Karen conducts her investigation, all seems to be going according to plan for Diane, until an unexpected visit from her Nemesis, Trudy, the head of the ASPCCA (The American Association Against Cruelty To Cute Animals). When Trudy offers up some temporary housing, Diane naively accepts, only to realize she has sent them to a kill shelter. Diane has no choice but to pick the raccoons up herself, and store them in the office supply closet.
All hell breaks loose at the Luncheon when Elle has a massive allergic reaction, Beth accidentally gets high, Karen accuses Diane of theft in front of the guests, and the raccoons escape from the closet and crash the party. As the women sit in the aftermath of the attack, the raccoons are taken away by the kill shelter, and Margo runs out of the office, inconsolable. Sue reprimands the women, saying they went way over budget and left the raccoons worse off than when they found them. She admits she will have to recommend they be shut down. But Diane won’t give up that easy. She insists on taking everyone back to her home, where she shows them a modest grave stone in her yard, and shares the story of why she started Forgotten Animals in the first place.
Diane used to work for the ASPCCA, until Trudy built a runway for a piglet fashion show right on top of a vulture’s nest. That day Diane vowed to open her own non-profit where cute animals lives wouldn’t be valued over ugly ones.Just then, when all seems lost, Margo shows up and reveals that her old prison is taking the raccoons for a nature program. As the women celebrate this achievement, Karen receives a call from a luncheon attendee who offers to buy the rights to what happened for her one-woman show. And so, Forgotten Animals lives to fight another day!
JOB TITLE: Founder.
MOST LIKE: A Queen Fire Ant.
BACKGROUND: Animal Rights
USUALLY WEARING: TJ Maxx
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
"She’s terrified of us but her heart is in the right place."
Played by Jessie Jolles
JOB TITLE: Director of Donations
MOST LIKE: A Deep Sea Angler Fish
BACKGROUND: Ran wall street
USUALLY WEARING: Power suit
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
“She's the leader of the pack regardless of whether Diane is her boss."
Played by Sarah Smallwood Parsons
JOB TITLE: Head of Public Relations
MOST LIKE: An Adorable Kitten
BACKGROUND: Sorority President
USUALLY WEARING: Designer
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
“She can make even the most disgusting animal look good!”
Played by Madeline DeFreece
JOB TITLE: Office Manager
MOST LIKE: (LY) in prison.
BACKGROUND: Ex-Con.
USUALLY WEARING: Whatever
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
“Legalize weed!”
Played by Claire Burns
JOB TITLE: New Receptionist
MOST LIKE: A Pocket Mouse
BACKGROUND: Recent gra.d
USUALLY WEARING: Beige
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
“Is she okay???"
Played by Nichole Yannetty
JOB TITLE: Corporate Rep.
MOST LIKE:
I'm just here to evaluate your funding.
BACKGROUND:
Just pretend I'm not even here.
USUALLY WEARING: ...
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
...They can't.
Played by Leslie Meisel
JOB TITLE: Head of the American Association Against Cruely to Cute Animals
MOST LIKE: An adorable corgi.
BACKGROUND:
None of your business.
USUALLY WEARING:
A fur. Relax, it's faux.
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
"We love you Trudy! Even more than Diane!"
Played by Ann Carr
JOB TITLE:
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MOST LIKE:
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BACKGROUND:
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USUALLY WEARING:
HHHHHHHHUUOIOnjknj
IF ANIMALS COULD TALK:
NJGHUI5YT757YHGURHDJGNJG
The ladies throw a global warming awareness event for children to benefit this week’s animal, Coral (yes, coral is an animal!) However, the women can’t agree on a temperature for the office and keep messing with the thermostat. Margo turns it down to stay alert in case a fight breaks out, Beth turns it up because the finger paints are freezing, and Diane tears her way out of a big coral costume, traumatizing the kids forever.
When Diane gives a big presentation on a cruise after getting the world’s worst sunburn, the women struggle to look at her, and this week’s animal, the shredded walrus (walruses that have been shredded by boat motors and survived.) Meanwhile, Karen refuses to acknowledge that her biggest donation this quarter has fallen through, no matter how much Sue tries to get through to her.
The women throw a dance party for the Pinto Spinetail, a bird whose mating rituals have been disturbed by deforestation. Meanwhile a very hot temp is visiting to help them go paperless and the women subconsciously begin mating rituals of their own. Elle wears bright colored garments to catch their eye, Karen demands an offering of shiny trinkets, and Margo just wants them to inseminate her and leave. All the inappropriate behavior results in a lawsuit the women can’t afford.
When Diane hits a snapping turtle on her way to work, she’s shocked to find that the vet bill will cost the entire week’s budget. The ladies all use their own tactics to try and get a discount. Diane pretends the turtle was her pet, Karen tries to sleep her way into a discount, and Beth figures out what she wants to do with her life and considers leaving the company.
The ladies put on a halloween performance of Dracula to raise money for Vampire Bats, a nocturnal animal whose lack of sight forces it to rely on its hearing. Unfortunately, the office has lost power and to top it all off, our lead, Diane, got pressured into last-minute lasik.
The ladies partner up with Elle’s old sorority, Pi Kappa Stuckup, to save the swans in the on-campus lake that have been attacking visitors. Meanwhile, Elle regresses to her former college self and creates some bad PR for the business.
The women partner with Houses For Hot Humans to build a dam for an elderly beaver, but when the company pulls out last minute, taking their lumber with them, the ladies must challenge sexist stereotypes and do the construction themselves with whatever they have.
The women throw a Walkathon for the endangered Red Wolf, but Margo made the path way too long and rigorous. While most people quit halfway through, Karen and Diane refuse, and decide to settle once and for all who the leader of the pack is.
When a coffee chain bans plastic straws to help sea turtles, the women campaign for the ban of plastic cups as well, for the sake of Eels who could get stuck in them. Only problem is, Margo got in a fight and has to lead the protest in a very constricting neck brace.
When the ASPCCA starts cleaning ducklings at an oil spill, the women of Forgotten Animals join in but focus their efforts on the horseshoe crabs. But after Trudy lends them soap that turns out not to be eco-friendly, the women are charged with polluting the water even further. This may just be the end of Forgotten Animals!
Written in the style of 30 Rock and Schitt’s Creek, we could see this silly but intelligently written comedy living on Netflix, Hulu, and NBC. The show has an all-female main cast, yet doesn't focus on their gender, but rather their universal human experiences. [insert period joke here.]
Our goal for the series is to find a network or platform to produce a 10-episode first season, (and sure, maybe more, just stop being so obsessed with us, we’re suffocating!) Since each episode is inspired by an animal and an aspect of non-profit culture, there are infinite possibilities for future episodes and many opportunities to showcase new and undiscovered talent.
met while performing at the UCB Theater in NYC. They instantly connected over their love of the Amazon River Dolphin (google at your own risk!), as well as their hate of the generic roles they were auditioning for (girlfriend, nurse, young mom -- well at least they said young!) So they set out to write a show filled with unique animals and even more unique women, and before they knew it, Forgotten Animals was born!
Since then, Sarah and Jessie have gone on to write for the likes of UCB Comedy, JFL, Above Average, Betches, and More. For more information fly over to their websites;
SarahSmallwoodParsons.com
JessieJolles.com
JESSIE JOLLES - Creator/Performer
UCB, Above Average, JFL, Betches
SARAH SMALLWOOD PARSONS - Creator/Performer
UCB, Above Average, JFL, Characters Welcome
ALEC COHEN - Director
Comedy Central, Adult Swim, Above Average, VICELAND
CLAIRE BURNS - Performer/Art Director
UCB, Stuff For Women, Betches Under The Influence, Retro Eats, Elmhurst
MADELINE DEFREECE - Performer
Tahara, The Last O.G., Succession
NICHOLE YANNETTY - Performer
Jessica Jones, The Defenders, The Last O.G., Younger
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